I have an old book written by Roger Ailes called You Are The Message. The premise of the book is that when you communicate, it is not only about what you say, but also about how you say it, embodied by your speaking style, vocal quality, and physical presentation.
It’s one thing to step in front of a group of people who don’t know you so well and give a clear, high-quality presentation. If “you are the message” applies in that context, how much more does it apply when you are around those who know you best?
Your spouse, children, close family, friends, and coworkers all know who you are and the quality of relationship each has with you. These people can’t be fooled, at least not for very long. Your life is the message they receive, above the message you speak.
The most important people in your life will be attracted to you when they know your life and words match, that you are so connected to your message as to live it out. Misspoken words are easily forgiven; missteps in life are eventually forgotten. However, a pattern of living contrary to your expressed ideals will not be disregarded. Here is how I conceptualized being the message for those who are important to me:
LIVE- simply; LOVE- completely; LEAD- diligently; SERVE- humbly