The Making of Strong Family Boundaries


And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve… but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15) This verse is an example of drawing external boundaries.

Family boundaries should protect children and adults within and without.

Maintaining safety within the family:
Adults take on adult roles and handle the adult business.
Children have the chance to just be children. They aren’t triangulated into adult systems and made allies or enemies.
Parents do the parenting. Children are to be nurtured, not to provide nurturing or affirmation to adults.
Adults in the home other than parents allow the parent to parent their children.
And in light of so many children being raised by relatives, biological parents understand and appreciate the bond shared between the child and the relative caregiver, allowing the caregiver to enforce rules.

This is just a sampling of ways to keep appropriate boundaries within the home.

Protecting the family from danger outside the home:
State what is right and what is wrong clearly.
Lead by example; demonstrate the right actions and reactions to outside situations.
Know what is entering and exiting your home; not just material things, but ideas and philosophies.
Talk to each other early and often.
Be the moral compass until the children develop their own sense of right and wrong.

Boundaries- roles, rules, structure, attachment, teaching, discussing, role-modeling- will protect everyone in the family.

2 absolute necessities: integrity and consistency.

When have you felt the most secure and supported? Where their boundaries present? Did people say what they mean and mean what they said? How did you know that those around you had your best interest at heart?


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