The First Kindergarten Birthday Standoff


A veteran and a current warrior in the Kindergarten Birthday Standoff
A veteran and a current warrior in the Kindergarten Birthday Standoff
“What’s wrong, buddy? You mad that I was on the phone when you got in the car?”

*sniffle* “No! I told Suzie the “underwear joke and she told Bobby and now Bobbie isn’t inviting me to his birthday party!”

You have to understand a few things about this scenario. First, the underwear joke. I taught Elisha that joke. We have had hours of laughter over this joke. It goes like this, (to some unsuspecting bystander) “Hey look under there!” “Look under where?” (Uproar of laughter) “I just made you say “underwear!” I’ll give you a moment to recover.

Second, this birthday party talk began yesterday when Bobby did want my son to come to his birthday party, and in fact to spend the night at his house. The birthday is in March. Sounds like Bobby is on the ball when it comes to this party, but I guess his parents are behind- no actual invitation yet. Details TBD.

Third, apparently Bobby doesn’t like underwear jokes. Because when little Suzie told the joke to him, Elisha was automatically nixed from the list of invitees, which includes everyone else in the classroom, including the teacher. And my boy is upset.

“When is the birthday?” I ask.
“March 12th.” came the reply.
“Well on March 12th you and I will go have the most fun ever and you can invite whoever you want to to come with us,” I said. Elisha wanted to take it a step further.

(Excitement) “Yeah! And when my birthday comes I can invite everyone except Bobby! And I’ll write him a letter that says, ‘Since I couldn’t come to your birthday party, you can’t come to mine!’ And it’ll be the best party ever!”
“Well, let’s not go that far yet. Let’s plan on having a good time ourselves and we’ll see about your birthday. Besides, before then you and Bobby might be good friends again because friends sometimes get mad, split apart, and then forgive and get back together. Let’s not…”

(A little anger and a lot of determination) “No! Because I don’t like Bobby now! He’s trying to trick me into the woods so he can set a trap for me and cut down a tree and it’ll fall on me! I gotta stay out of his trap and set a trap for him!”

Well, so much for calming that situation. Luckily I learned somewhere along the way that it is ok not to like someone or to be liked all the time. If someone doesn’t like one’s impeccable sense of humor, does one really need that person hanging around anyway? Conditions change very quickly on the ground during the Kindergarten Birthday Standoffs. And children are somehow able to keep shorter accounts of wrongs done than we are as adults. I think everything will be just fine. Now, I wonder who Bobby’s parents are…

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