Beyond Marriage: The Post-Marriage Mindset


Marriage is in the limelight, at least politically, as the Supreme Court will be deciding on Prop. 8 and DOMA between now and June. If for no other reason than this, I will be writing about marriage a little more lately than usual.

In less-thought-of but no-less-significant news, I came across a blog post about Adam Levine of the rock group Maroon 5, who made the following statement about marriage: “If you don’t get married, you can’t get divorced.” He went on to express that his generation (which is my generation as well) should learn from living through the broken marriages that they experienced growing up; which is to say, they should learn that marriage is a mistake.

I’m familiar with the sentiment, having heard this thought first-hand from others of my generation. I am blessed to have grown up in a 2-parent home in which divorce was not an option. As such, and due to solid counsel prior to marriage to my beautiful wife of 7 years (who also grew up in a 2-parent, intact household), I feel like we have been well prepared to navigate all of the obstacles to staying together.

Having the experience I have had growing up, and hearing the feeling expressed that marriage isn’t worth the trouble and heartache, I would propose that the abismal divorce rate and prevailing negative attitude toward marriage by the Baby Buster generation is less about marriage as a flawed institution and much more about my generation’s lack of training and confidence in keeping a stable relationship together. I know we have generational theft occurring in a financial sense, but the real injustice is that an entire generation has been robbed of the values and nurturing necessary to enter, honor, and maintain a marriage. And as such, the institution itself has suffered.

In future posts, I want to talk about the value of marriage, the benefit of marriage and, and the necessity of marriage to the family and society. Until then, what do you think? How has your experience with your parents shaped your perception of marriage? How have you lived out those perceptions? Let me know in the comments.

Copyright (c) 2013 Glen Gaugh

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