Compromising Marriage: 3 Steps to Avoid Infidelity


In my last post on marriage, I talked about the issue of people rejecting marriage due to the lessons of their parents’ divorces: “if you don’t get married, you can’t get divorced,” is the rationale of a significant part of my geneeration. I have also written in the past about the uprising of “precommittment” relationships, which is the “try before you buy” approach that cohabitates before marriage.

This interesting blog post on criminalizing demand for prostitution presents another front in the attack on marriage, the one in which a spouse participates in prostitution. There is a lot to be said on the topic of prostitution and human sex trafficking that can be addressed in later posts.

Infidelity through extramarital affairs, one-night stands, or paying a prostitute has compromised marriages and the institution of marriage for a long time. What must we do to combat infidelity and strengthen marriage?

Decline each opportunity to be unfaithful. There are plenty of these opportunities on a daily basis. As blatant as a proposition or as subtle as a passing glance, infidelity presents itself. “Every man is tempted…,” but every temptation may be turned down. Setting boundaries is so important, from knowing what draws you into temptation, to keeping outside relationships appropriate. Every boundary that is drawn against infidelity opens up a multitude of possibilities for fulfillment within the marriage relationship.

Deny that infidelity is inevitable. It seems that there is no sense of surprise in the world when a marriage falls to infidelity. People have come face to face with the ugliness of unfaithfulness in my generation as they have seen their own parents’ marriages fall apart. The risk of infidelity causes so many to avoid marriage all together. All this attitude does, however, is lower the standard of what faithfullness really is. We deny that infidelity is inevitable by showing determination within marriage and never giving up.

Defy the notion that sex outside of marriage is the new norm. I chose the wording of this point, “sex outside of marriage,” quite intentionally- even more than infidelity being expected, sexual relations outside of marriage is whole-heartedly embraced. Abstanence is almost categorically rejected as a lifestyle choice. Even as the act that is reserved by God for man and wife is treated so frivilously, people wonder why marriage does not seem to work anymore. To our spouses, for our marriages, and before God- we must put sex in its rightful place.

The fact is that marriage is affirmed and strengthened one man, one woman, one marriage at a time. What will you determine to do to strengthen marriage?

Copyright (c) 2013 Glen Gaugh

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