Have you ever doubted your capacity to change for the better?
We are not now what we will become.
I’m sure someone has said it this way before, more or less. The truth is that whatever you are at this point in time, is not what you will be in the future.
The changes we experience may be faster and more drastic between youth and adulthood, but if you aren’t happy with who you are now, that’s ok. You have the capacity to change for the better.
I wasn’t satisfied; in fact, I was downright discouraged when I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. It impacted my comfort and lifestyle more than anything I had ever experienced. The worst case scenario presented to me was to have to live with a colostomy bag for the rest of my life. God let me go through just enough of the pain and the pressure to change my lifestyle to challenge my faith and see what I was willing to take. Then, when biweekly injections failed to work, He healed me. It’s about as drastic of an example I can think of personally; I was doomed to be one way, but by His grace I changed. I was healed.
When I train to run a race, and the difficulty is at its toughest, and I feel like no progress is being made, I have to remember a time when I had to stop running altogether because I couldn’t go 15 minutes without finding a bathroom. During that really hard time, I still ran as much as possible in spite of it all, planning for being at the point of having to stop wherever I happened to be, and even keeping toilet paper with me in case of emergency as I ran in the woods and fields around my house. I even ran two or three races during that time period, fasting so my intestines would be empty and I’d be less likely to have to stop or have an “accident.”
I suppose I’m reminded to count my blessings after sitting in the middle of the filed road where I train the other day, declaring to God how much I hate the pain of training. I was spent after a short time. It wasn’t a good day at all for me. I pitched a hissy fit as my mother would call it. Then I got in position without another single word and finished that round of exercises. I quit earlier than I intended to that day. But it became to me, as it was 2 years ago dealing with my illness, a matter of starting again. Starting again is all that matters. In the middle of what you’re going through, whether minutes, days, weeks, or months go by, it’s important to start again.
Because you are not now what you will be in the future. And what you become depends on what you do now.
Change always takes longer and proves to be more difficult than you ever thought it would be. No matter how many times in the past you’ve made improvements, or how many wrongs you’ve corrected, you’ll still be surprised the next time you try to be more of who you want to become.
The Tough Mudder 5k in Nashville at Nissan Stadium is tomorrow, and because of these lessons I’ve been talking about, I know it is a beginning, not and end, to the changes I’m making. Watch out for updates from the course and more lessons I’ve learned while training for the experience.
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