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The Fight Isn’t Mine

[2Ch 20:15, 17 KJV] 15 And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle [is] not yours, but God’s. … 17 Ye shall not [need] to fight in this [battle]: set yourselves, stand ye [still], and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD [will be] with you.

The Lord chooses the enemy. He chooses the battlefield. He chooses the timing. He has chosen everything and has left nothing to chance. He expects us to know His will and to do it, nothing more, nothing less.

I felt strongly in the Lord to run for public office in 2016. I fought with it for months before deciding to go for it. I consulted with my wife and others about whether it was the right thing to do. We all agreed. We still agree that it was the right thing to have done, even though we lost the election. When it is God’s will, you never lose.

This election season came around, and I had the same struggle as before. I was back and forth, up and down. I talked it over, over and over again, with my wife and others I trusted. I had more encouragement to go for it this time than I did before. But I never could find peace in running another race at this time. God chooses the battles, the enemy, the battlefield, and the timing.

This is not the battle to fight right now. I am discouraged at the state of our young people, of the church, and of our nation. There is a lot to be done. There is another battle to be fought right now.

This is not the enemy. Before David fought a giant, he fought a lion and a bear. Our enemy is not flesh and blood, but spiritual principalities, and powers, and darkness in high places. It isn’t the time to face a political opponent right now. There are enemies for each of us to face, so ask, “Lord, should I go up against this enemy now?”

This is not the battlefield. There are a number of skirmishes to be won. I can’t connect the role of being an elected representative to any of them right now. There are public and civic duties I know I must fulfill, but not as a politician.

That doesn’t mean there will not be a time for that. Timing is everything, and God knows His timing for each of us. Each seed sprouts in its own time, and I have no doubt about the seeds that have been sown as I have obeyed God each step of the way. They will have their time.

I remember a few years ago, at a time when I was discouraged, the Lord spoke to me as He did to Moses, and said, “What is in your hand?” What do you already have a hold on that you can use to get ahead, make a difference, use in ministry, fight a battle? It is still the question to be answered. It is time to take inventory and decide what do I have that can do the greatest good right now. Not just temporary good, but eternal good.


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What Can Family Coaching Do For You? Part 1

Busting through the status quo is tough to do, but I have experienced it several times. If I can do it, so can you.

It would be possible for me to be one of the most complacent people ever. I even verge on lazy sometimes. These traits have shown up in a couple of ways.

First, there have been times when I knew I could “do better,” but I couldn’t (wouldn’t) raise a finger to make it so. If you and I were talking (let’s make this happen) and you found yourself in the boat, I would have to help you confront the reality that laziness will get you nowhere. I wouldn’t feel bad about it one bit; I had to learn that lesson.

Secondly, I piled up stuff (responsibilities, job/volunteer titles, goal lists), stuff that presented the illusion of progress or fulfillment. One time, I was so stressed under the load I had taken on myself I had to visit a counselor on campus. It would have been one thing if all the stuff was bringing me value; this was not the case. It was just a bunch of stuff I thought I had to do to make something worthwhile happen.

Let me be your family life coach for a minute- which things in your pile belong to you and which things need to be given back to someone else? Maybe just dropped altogether?

To say yes, you first have to say no to some things. So take inventory.

• What expectations are you fulfilling that belong to someone else? Far from telling you to ditch people, I’m saying it will help you and others you love if you would mark some expectations “return to sender.” Have an honest conversation.
• What expectations have passed their expiration date? Time change, people change, goals change. Few goals and roles remain unchanged forever and always. More honest conversation may be necessary, but the biggest conversation might need to take place within yourself.
• What do you find in your pile that you should fully own and be accountable for? If the pile is thinning out a lot by the time you get to these things, then I guarantee that whatever is left has been fighting for time and attention that the rest of the stuff has competed for. This may be where you locate the limitations you have experienced in personal relationships, parenting, self-care, and health and wellness.

Getting down to the essentials will help you allocate time and energy to new behaviors and activities that will actually move you forward.

This is how family life coaching can help you- decide what you want, how you can get it, and how to take the most important people with you. Most importantly, coaching will help you face the realities preventing you from achieving your next steps in life.

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